Unfortunate

My friend once said to me why it's unfortunate to be a girl,

we are always be the ones that wait.

But in some cases,

rare cases,

all the times you've wasted waiting,

wasn't wasted after all.

Because it will worth the wait, even probably worth more.

It can be worth all things you did in your life; 

your struggle to pass a test, a sincere smile you gave to someone you met when you walked by, your midnight thoughts, your hug to a friend, 

all things, all the details.

---

So yes maybe we are all agree that corruption "culture" in our surroundings is a sad fact we have to admit. Some are even being pessimist that they fact will someday be gone. In fact, I was.
The whole corruption things politicians and governance do (almost in every sector, everywhere, and everyone in it; yes this is so sad), they aren't things we can solve in a day. Or two. They're cultural, a long heavy chain, from generation to generation.
I always believe that early education is the key.
Honestly I'm one of some people that still believe in marriage and family, and all values in it. Raising children in their early ages is the most crucial phase every parent and every child probably had. Children learned things there, a lot of things. Some are things they will take for their lifetime. This is where you can break the chain.
There are many reasons why women should be smart and educated, but because women will be a mom to her kids someday is one of the best reason, yes for me it is. This terrifies me a lot actually. To know I will be the key for someone's life and way of thinking.

You can break the chain.
We can.

Everytime.

Everytime I read or watch about someone’s life discovering stories, I always have a moment of silence and think about mine. What the fuck am I doing here and what is life questions then smashed me over and over again. I thought about escaping from this shits I’ve been doing in college too sometimes. Beach camp, off to somewhere far, find a good place to read and think. Alone. Sky-gazing. Wondering. Lost?

But you know, those things are easier to be said than done. Afraid, doubt?

I don't know. Maybe if someday I’m gone for a while, you know I’m somewhere.  

We're greedy, just admit it.

So this is an idea that just popped up in my head.
The idea of sharing. I just realized we don't share much, I mean as something great as human race. We're simply, greedy.
People don't want to share their works, their research, their way of thinking, their belongings in general just because we don't want them to be copied with some losers. We don't want them belonged to someone else.
Why?

It doesn't mean I support pirate or plagiarism, don't get me wrong. That's not the point I'm making here. The spotlight is in us, as an individual. We want to be seen, seeking for attentions and acceptence in social life. Maybe sociology can tell more, because yes we're such a attention seeker. Admit it. The question is why? Why people are so urge to be standing out and be seen?

Probably that's the reason why we're still here, anyway?
But in the other hand, I think human and its egocentric isn't necessary.
We can simply share, like, everything. Yes, social media and globalization and the internet and things help a lot. (Is it really a help? Don't know.)
I mean not only about shits you're watching right now, or songs that you like at the moment, or places you've been going. Share knowledges, your perspective to see the world, everything. Artworks, scientific paper you're working on, projects. If everyone is sharing, then probably I think there will be no plagiarism anymore. Because we make an atmosphere of sharing and helping, we put back the essence of being human to its right place. We make an atmosphere of "being human".

But yes, so utopia.

The importance of be seen and accepted are always being the main concern of most people. Not being too self-centered and selfish aren't that popular. This is kind of sad, because some said that we're rare and special, but we are endangered with our own ego and selfishness.

Random Thoughts. (Again and Again)

Everything in our everyday life, if you’re lucky enough to catch it, have little things, details, dots that later  will make some senses. Maybe today we only catch a dot we thought unimportant, but heaven knows what will happen later will make another dots turned into something. Maybe a line, or lines. Maybe those lines will make a plane eventually? Maybe it turns into 3d cube, something looks like a star  or spherical and shits?

I do believe that everything that happens right now, somehow will affects everything that will happen. I’m not calling it fate or something but you know, it’s kind of confusing. Some people say, it is what they call the next dimensions, dimensions after the third we always know (ya because we definitely live in it). But in the end, my thinking capacity isn’t that huge and maybe I’m basically stupid. Maybe most people are, too. Then we’re tired of it, so we decided to call it fate, again.

Whoa that was  2 whole paragraphs full of nothing.  

Hmm. Back again.

I know nothing about this world. Universe. Life, death, and everything in between. Human and its way of thinking. Skies and trillion stars in it. Mammals, bacteria, chemicals. The word “world” is so huge and consist of unbelivably countless random things. So here I am, one of those countless random things, writing shits.

I actually am, trying to get those shits together and write something that make sense and considerably good by most people by writing poems or maybe a kaboom scifi or cute photos of mine or over seasoned jokes or hangout with cool friends in cool places kind of story. But that’s not how it works for me, I don’t know why but seems like my brain capacity and my way of thinking, they’re both wierd. I always end up writing some random thing, like it just popped up not in a proper order. I don’t know since when but in some points it’s tiring. It’s hard for me to write in a structure, put things orderly, groovy, or something you can learn easily.

Husna kenapa curhat mulu.

Shit this is so pointless.

Try again.

Yup we’re all tiny little human trying to get to know the world. We don’t and will never stop. But again, don’t you think those are pointless because the world is just too big for us to know? I’m not sure but somehow religious people get the whole point,  you have to live your live peacefully, happy. By believing something knows and understands us, it guides us. It creates us. We believe in fate, what happened, what happens, and what will happen are out of our capability.

Those lines that made by dots,

The question is: Is it us human as individual make those lines from dots (everything we do in everyday life is the dots). Or something more huge than us do, it set up those lines and their dots consisted long before and we’re here  just following the order path?

Hi.

Thanks to some friends of mine, I finally consider to come back here and write something more worth reading. Really, it has been like, 5 years since my first post. What a plenty of time. Looking back through posts I've been made here, glad to know that my way of thinking changed from time to time. It's funny, actually. And a bit wierd.
Anyway, glad to be back.