Kadang sesuatu itu emang rumit, ya... I don't even know what it is or why or since when but I know I hate this kind of feeling. It's more like a guilt than a joy.
February 04, 2013
January 30, 2013
These things are killing me softly.
Here I am in the middle of nowhere. I get lost in this entire f*cking school stuffs. This weeks are so awesome I can't explain. Yes, daily exams everyday and a tons of tasks and homeworks.Seems like my head is going to explode.Whoa. Another awesomeness, once in 2 weeks there's gonna be an Astronomy lesson, preparing for OSN. It takes 6 hours in Sunday hahahahaha how lovely.
I was thinking that next week's gonna be a not-hard one but everything was going inversely. There's a TIK test on Sunday, submitting musical drama's script and the synopsis to Mr. Egga on the next day, on Wednesday there ARE two terrific daily exams: Chemistry and History, PKn on Thursday and France on Friday. These are the reasons why I really love my life.
I was thinking that next week's gonna be a not-hard one but everything was going inversely. There's a TIK test on Sunday, submitting musical drama's script and the synopsis to Mr. Egga on the next day, on Wednesday there ARE two terrific daily exams: Chemistry and History, PKn on Thursday and France on Friday. These are the reasons why I really love my life.
January 19, 2013
December 12, 2012
Because the universe is widening.
The time won't flies.
Twirling back to the past.
Disclose the curtain of this story.
If I can, I will live that time forever.
People would rather to look back, why don't we keep moving on?
The universe is widening. Moving.
The Earth is rotating. Moving.
We live in a kinda hard life, hmm?
When everything's going inversely.
Black when it's white.
Right when it's wrong.
Honest when it's dishonest.
Twirling back to the past.
Disclose the curtain of this story.
If I can, I will live that time forever.
People would rather to look back, why don't we keep moving on?
The universe is widening. Moving.
The Earth is rotating. Moving.
We live in a kinda hard life, hmm?
When everything's going inversely.
Black when it's white.
Right when it's wrong.
Honest when it's dishonest.
November 17, 2012
Galau masa depan?
Galau. I don't know why but I prefer galau about my future than galau-in someone out there who doesn't even know my existence. Yah, sebenernya ini galau galau terselubung.
Entah kenapa, mungkin semenjak naik kelas, pertanyaan pertanyaan semacam "Nanti mau kuliah dimana, na?" atau "udah kepikiran belum, mau lanjut kemana?" dan sejenisnya menjadi mainstream untuk ditanyakan. Woggghhhhhhh I really don't know what to say, honestly.
I don't know what I really want, exactly. Kinda ironic.
FTSL ITB. I used to say this is what I want. Really? Now I'm not so sure about this. Why it's FTSL?
Fakultas Teknik Sipil dan Lingkungan. "Lingkungan" that underlined. Yes, Teknik Lingkungan is something, for the first time, I've said I really want.
But, yes, again, my parents. It seems like they're disagree. Not about the "FTSL", but the "ITB". Kuliah di ITB artinya ngekos. Di Bandung. Sendirian. That's why. I know what they worried. Dunia emang udah edan, coy.
Gatau, ah. Pusyiang. Pengen meledak dulu, bye.
Entah kenapa, mungkin semenjak naik kelas, pertanyaan pertanyaan semacam "Nanti mau kuliah dimana, na?" atau "udah kepikiran belum, mau lanjut kemana?" dan sejenisnya menjadi mainstream untuk ditanyakan. Woggghhhhhhh I really don't know what to say, honestly.
I don't know what I really want, exactly. Kinda ironic.
FTSL ITB. I used to say this is what I want. Really? Now I'm not so sure about this. Why it's FTSL?
Fakultas Teknik Sipil dan Lingkungan. "Lingkungan" that underlined. Yes, Teknik Lingkungan is something, for the first time, I've said I really want.
But, yes, again, my parents. It seems like they're disagree. Not about the "FTSL", but the "ITB". Kuliah di ITB artinya ngekos. Di Bandung. Sendirian. That's why. I know what they worried. Dunia emang udah edan, coy.
Gatau, ah. Pusyiang. Pengen meledak dulu, bye.
November 05, 2012
As same as a love.
A waves.
Up. Down. Nothing.
As same as a love.
A waves.
Getting swept away.
As same as a love.
Up. Down. Nothing.
As same as a love.
A waves.
Getting swept away.
As same as a love.
October 30, 2012
Nobody Knows? Yes.
Nobody knows "the real" me. Nobody knows how many times I've sat in my room, and cried all night long. How many times I've lost hope. How many times I've been let down. How many times I've thought about this unfairness, this life, my parents, everything.
October 11, 2012
An update.
Hello. Now I'm updating in Mrs. Atty's english lesson this afternoon. Hahahahaha. Have a nice day!
October 07, 2012
"Tak ada yang lebih tabah, dari hujan bulan Juni..."
Hujan Bulan Juni (Sapardi Djoko Damono)
tak ada yang lebih tabah
dari hujan bulan Juni
dirahasiakannya rintik rindunya
kepada pohon berbunga itu
dari hujan bulan Juni
dirahasiakannya rintik rindunya
kepada pohon berbunga itu
tak ada yang lebih bijak
dari hujan bulan Juni
dihapusnya jejak-jejak kakinya
yang ragu-ragu di jalan itu
dari hujan bulan Juni
dihapusnya jejak-jejak kakinya
yang ragu-ragu di jalan itu
tak ada yang lebih arif
dari hujan bulan Juni
dibiarkannya yang tak terucapkan
diserap akar pohon bunga itu
dari hujan bulan Juni
dibiarkannya yang tak terucapkan
diserap akar pohon bunga itu
October 04, 2012
It's 1 AM
It's 1 AM
No, I'm not gonna ask you who do you love.
It's 1 AM
I'm awake and think what happened. Or what should be happened.
It's 1 AM
I don't even know what that is.
It's 1 AM
Your eyes talked to me. But I couldn't heard.
It's 1 AM
Can you just speak clearer?
No, I'm not gonna ask you who do you love.
It's 1 AM
I'm awake and think what happened. Or what should be happened.
It's 1 AM
I don't even know what that is.
It's 1 AM
Your eyes talked to me. But I couldn't heard.
It's 1 AM
Can you just speak clearer?
September 28, 2012
Future is comiiiiiing!
If there were 9999 reasons to quit, and give up, I know there was only one reason to stay and keep fighting this life. Chase our dreams. End the past. Stand up and smile. Take a very deep breath and go on.
By the way, the time flies so fast, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday I was still in the elementary, with my red skirt and my colorful socks. But in fact, in the next year I'll be 12 grader and soon I'll be in college. Whoa! The future is coming!
Always, I'm wondering how will I look like when I'm 30, have a son and daughter, and share all the happiness with "my" family. Who will be my husband, where will I live, hahahahahahahaha. But yap, only God knows. Let's wait and see;)
By the way, the time flies so fast, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday I was still in the elementary, with my red skirt and my colorful socks. But in fact, in the next year I'll be 12 grader and soon I'll be in college. Whoa! The future is coming!
Always, I'm wondering how will I look like when I'm 30, have a son and daughter, and share all the happiness with "my" family. Who will be my husband, where will I live, hahahahahahahaha. But yap, only God knows. Let's wait and see;)
September 27, 2012
You actually trick your own life, guys.
Life isn't fair. Yap, because that's all I've ever known. Like I've said, thousand times.
I studied as hard as I can. Stayed up all night. Read read read and practise practise practise. I won't forgive myself if I didn't do my best, at least I've tried. Make a black mark under my eyes. But they? Just keep calm, grab a phone, Googling, texting, bbm, and something disgusting like that. Or in France, you do open dictionary. I'm just watching in my silence.
Maybe you'll say, "I did everything you did. That efforts."
Yes, you did, maybe. But why still you do that fucking dirty trick? You waste your knowledges, your intellegences. You swap your morality with a surreal and useless PERFECT SCORE. Okay, you got that score, so what? It doesn't mean a thing.
I'm a human, so are you. We're not perfect, I know. But I don't do that trick. Never. Okay, sometimes, I ask my behind friend or being asked with her. But just to check our step or our answer if there was a mistake. Not ask the answer. If our answer was different, it's okay. I don't change my answer if I was sure with mine.
I studied as hard as I can. Stayed up all night. Read read read and practise practise practise. I won't forgive myself if I didn't do my best, at least I've tried. Make a black mark under my eyes. But they? Just keep calm, grab a phone, Googling, texting, bbm, and something disgusting like that. Or in France, you do open dictionary. I'm just watching in my silence.
Maybe you'll say, "I did everything you did. That efforts."
Yes, you did, maybe. But why still you do that fucking dirty trick? You waste your knowledges, your intellegences. You swap your morality with a surreal and useless PERFECT SCORE. Okay, you got that score, so what? It doesn't mean a thing.
I'm a human, so are you. We're not perfect, I know. But I don't do that trick. Never. Okay, sometimes, I ask my behind friend or being asked with her. But just to check our step or our answer if there was a mistake. Not ask the answer. If our answer was different, it's okay. I don't change my answer if I was sure with mine.
"Yah sekarang mah pada ngejarnya nilai sih," -farah
September 16, 2012
Memoires!
I just downloaded this application from Google Play in my phone. Yap, Memoires. Now I finally found something I can tell and I can write, freely. No worry. Save. Keep in secret. It even has a password! I always try to write everything before sleep at night. There's no galau in this blog, anymore, I hope.
Love!
Love!
September 07, 2012
A Blackhole?
I'm shining, you're glowing.
Yes, in a different way.
I used to be that shining, but not anymore.
Maybe now I'm just a blackhole in your prespective.
Invisible and seems not real.
If so, I'm telling you, blackhole has a hidden super power.
You haven't realise it, have you?
Yes, in a different way.
I used to be that shining, but not anymore.
Maybe now I'm just a blackhole in your prespective.
Invisible and seems not real.
If so, I'm telling you, blackhole has a hidden super power.
You haven't realise it, have you?
September 06, 2012
I miss you all, Facetious X-8 2011-2012!
Ya, mumpung libur nih. Pas iseng iseng ngeliatin meja belajar, tadinya sih niat pengen ngerapihin eh nemu kotak bening isinya DVD, yakkk pemirsa.... Dvd sepuluh delapan! Akhirnya punya waktu buat nonton ini lagi:)
Kangen banget sama kalian semua. Emang sih masih bisa ketemu setiap hari, tapi rasanya beda. Suasananya beda. Dan kita gak dalam satu ruangan yang sama, itu dia yang bikin atmosfernya beda dan unforgettable. Alaynya, koplaknya, doyotnya, sedih&curhatnya, semuanya. Such a beautiful year with you all. Yes, the things change but memories last forever.
Kangen banget sama kalian semua. Emang sih masih bisa ketemu setiap hari, tapi rasanya beda. Suasananya beda. Dan kita gak dalam satu ruangan yang sama, itu dia yang bikin atmosfernya beda dan unforgettable. Alaynya, koplaknya, doyotnya, sedih&curhatnya, semuanya. Such a beautiful year with you all. Yes, the things change but memories last forever.
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