February 28, 2016

February 24, 2016

What if there's no in between?

I begin to think I'm getting more and more naive and ask why to things more often.
Kenapa sih orang-orang nggak gini atau begitu, apa susahnya sih berubah, or when it gets more extreme, kenapa sih orang-orang pada bego?
Is it just me or being naive is a good thing, at least, kind of?

I learned things in class, too much things. From Economy to human behavior, from Urban Design to RDTR, from Math to Landscape Architecture. I can be an evironmentalist in time and a governance in another. Or a professional consultant in the other day. What I mean to tell you here is, I got so much point of views and perspective which is a good thing, probably, and a bad thing too. Because you know, it gets more confusing and complex, I mean ketika lu udah yakin dengan satu cara pandang dan values datanglah another insight yang tiba-tiba jadi lebih suitable dan appropriate. dan insight baru itu turns out is total opposite from your previous one. Quite frustating, agak lebaynya.

Sometimes it was just so utopist, nice things, the ideals. Things like we have to reduce climate change, save environment, green energy, smart cities, love people. Then came Economy and profit oriented and huge development and civilization and stuff. And I was like what the fuck?

Back again I am a naive girl living in such a rude and cruel world. I always think that those two opposite thing can be combined. I always think, development can love people. Economist and environmentalist can sit together having coffee in a fine sunny day. Because, it is possible in my mind. But but but my surroundings and universe always give signs that it isn't.

It's always look like, black and white. Utopist and Egoistic.
Then it's just bothering me; what if there is only utopist or egoistic and there's no in between?

February 16, 2016

Still not sure

I have lived for almost 20 years until now, and probably I'm not the one here that have some identity crisis. Maybe that's okay because it's the phase we have to face in life. Who am I and what am I doing here in life...
In some points I think that it's important to know who you are but it's also time and energy consuming. Feels like I've wasted my time for something not so important, even though part of me still believe those philosophical shits I've been in formed me in some ways. Because know yourself first then you'll know the world? Still not sure.